Why it’s important to ask for help when we need it
I can’t believe it’s already October - 2023 seems to be disappearing! Between getting the book ready to sign off and go to print, managing a growing business, my daughter moving away to uni and everything else that’s going on, it’s shaping up to be one of the busiest years of my life.
There’s been a lot of change, some of which I’ve chosen but some of which I haven’t, which has made me realise that I need to start following some of my own advice about how to cope with change.
In the midst of so much change and uncertainty, I know it’s important not to push myself too hard, so I’ve been trying to keep some weekends free for down-time, and not overload myself with work. I’ve also been prioritising self care; not the “spa days and manicures” kind, more the “quality time with friends, mindful breathing, self compassion and setting boundaries” kind.
One of the things I’ve come to realise over the years is that when we’re living through change, it’s important to be able to ask for help from the people close to us (or even a professional). Most of us - myself included - tend to think of “help” as a four-letter word. Okay, so it is a four-letter word, but you know what I mean! For some reason, we struggle to ask for help, particularly when we’re living hectic lives, juggling multiple responsibilities, and either choosing to create change, or living with change that life has thrown at us.
We’re reluctant to show weakness - even to the people we love - which means that all too often, we try to cope with difficult or challenging situations on our own. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Here are five reasons why asking for help is a good idea:
It’s a sign of strength: whether in the workplace or your personal life, asking someone else for their help or advice shows that you recognise when you need the support or expertise of others.
It opens new doors: sometimes, the only way out of a difficult situation is to ask for help. Believe me, I’ve been there. Years ago I asked a group of trusted contacts for a small investment in my company. It was difficult to do, but their support enabled Firefly to grow into the thriving business it is today.
It makes other people happy: if you’ve ever helped a friend, loved one or even a total stranger, then you’ll know that it makes you feel really good. We’re all more than willing to help out when other people need it, so why do we find it so hard to ask for help ourselves?
Everyone has different skills and strengths that we can draw on: we can’t all be great at everything, so it makes sense to tap into other people’s expertise. Rather than making a bad job of something ourselves, why not ask someone who knows more about it than we do?
It makes life easier: we tend to think that qualities like independence, resilience and determination are rewarded in life - which usually means getting on with things on our own! But other people can smooth the path, add their own magic sparkle and make things easier. So why not let them?
I recently reached out to my social media followers for help. Having suddenly found myself cooking for one (for perhaps the first time in my life), I realised that I had absolutely no idea how to feed (just) myself! So, I asked for recipes, menu ideas for one, suggestions for fridge staples and even inspiration for healthy late-night snacks.
Sometimes we all need to ask for help, especially when we’re living through change.
