The answer is blowin’ in the wind
My daughter recently went on holiday with her friends, and even though she was only gone for a week, I think I may have started my midlife crisis. Okay, maybe not a full-blown midlife crisis, but I’ve dipped my toe in! Who knows what will happen in September, when she goes away to university?!
It all began during a recent Zoom call with someone in the US. I could see a selection of guitars in the background, and during the call we got to chatting about how - over 30 years ago - I spent an entire summer learning the chords to “Blowin’ in the Wind” (which, they assured me, was a great starting point for being able to play pretty much any other song). With no further encouragement needed, I decided that the time was right to buy myself an acoustic guitar. I set off for one of Edinburgh’s most prominent music shops and the rest, as they say, is history. Glastonbury 2024 here I come …
I’ll admit that it felt really great to do something so spontaneous and spur-of-the-moment, and honestly, my new project is already bringing me so much joy - partly because it feels indulgent to be doing something that’s just for me.
But the whole experience has made me stop and think about the processes involved when we decide to bring about a change in our lives, however small that change might be. I advise people to take time out and think carefully about what they want, and to make sure it’s something that resonates with their sense of purpose and values. That’s what keeps us on track, and makes it less likely we’re wasting our time on false starts, or pursuing fake dreams. But in this situation, I didn’t really think too hard about it.
I have known for a while that I want to pursue music in my life again. There was a piano in our previous house that was rehomed when we sold last year and one of my real passions is singing - I’ve had years of singing lessons in the past - and I’d really love to be able to play an instrument to accompany myself. So, after talking the idea through with a friend and with my counsellor (who reassured me that, as midlife crises go, this one is fairly mild), I decided to just follow my heart and go with it!
Here’s what I’ve learned from this so far:
Sometimes, you need to give yourself permission to just go for it and see what happens! Of course, more substantial change requires more time and thought, but if it’s something small or relatively harmless, then why not just follow your instincts and see where they take you? For me, the worst outcome is that I end up selling a guitar on Gumtree - no harm done!
The only person to measure your progress against is yourself. This idea comes from one of the guitar teachers I’m following on YouTube; it’s a great reminder that there will always be people who are better than you (this is true with everything, not just playing the guitar), so the only way to measure our progress in life is against our own achievements. Stop worrying about what everyone else is doing and just let yourself enjoy your progress on its own merits.
Trying something new is a great way to disconnect and focus your attention away from your problems. Learning the guitar is the first thing I've done in a very long time which is completely and utterly for me. As a result, it's already helping me to slow down, take time out of my usual routine and channel my thoughts and attention in a different direction.
This is an incredibly busy year for me: between growing a business, launching a book and my daughter starting university, it might seem counterintuitive to add yet another element into the mix. But actually, it already feels like such a gift. Although I know it will take a little time, I’m finding that learning to play the guitar is really revitalising - it’s giving me energy and enthusiasm, instead of being just another burden or responsibility.
Why not take some time out to think about whether you could add a little fun, a little indulgence - something that’s just for you - into your life. It could be something small (I was blowing bubbles in my office a couple of weeks ago to de-stress!) or something a bit more substantial, like picking up a new skill or hobby. Maybe you've always wanted to learn how to use a sewing machine, read a book in a foreign language, or dance a merengue? Or maybe it’s years since you’ve treated yourself to Pick ‘n’ Mix at the cinema. Whatever it is, try not to overthink it - just get out there and have a little fun!
