Self-belief is waiting for you on the other side of change
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my 25+ years as a leadership coach and change strategist, it’s that there’s no point in waiting until we have enough self-belief to make a change, because that day will never arrive! Self belief is waiting for us on the other side of change, after we’ve taken that leap.
People often assume that because I spend my professional life coaching CEOs and senior executives, my self-confidence must be rock solid, but nothing could be further from the truth! Like everyone else I experience wobbles, insecurities and self-doubt, but I’ve come to realise that the important thing is not to let those doubts stop me in my tracks. Instead, I try to use them as fuel to keep me moving towards my goals.
Face the fear
As a facilitator of Brene Brown’s Dare to Lead programme, I’ve learned the importance of facing my fears with courage. For me, that means recognising the fear, but walking towards it instead of running away. Fear is uncomfortable for everyone, but in order to move forwards we need to be able to get comfortable with the discomfort. I know that sounds a bit crazy, but when we do, we can be more brave, more daring and more courageous in our actions. Stepping into the unknown can be pretty scary, but it’s exciting too.
Self-belief is like a snowball
Unfortunately, most of us don’t have a stockpile of self-belief ready to draw on when we need it. We gather it as we go. Think of your self-belief as a snowball at the top of a hill: as you roll down the hill, learning and taking on new experiences as you go, you expand to fill a bigger space. The snowball gets bigger as your confidence and your self-belief expand with you on your journey.
When we take on new challenges, we’re expanding the circle - or snowball - of what we know we’re capable of. So every time we create a change and expand that circle, we create more possibilities for ourselves in the future.
When in doubt, borrow someone else’s belief in you
Very few people have rock solid, unshakeable self-belief, but most people have someone else that believes in them. If you’re struggling to believe in yourself, or you don’t have the reserves to face into things that scare you, borrow that belief from someone else: a trusted friend or mentor, even your children. Believe me, nobody has self belief 100% of the time - I certainly don’t - so borrow it if you need to.
Top tip for creating change: just start!
Sometimes creating change requires a giant leap, but not always! In fact, baby steps can be an equally - if not more - effective way to create change in your life. The most important thing is to keep moving in the direction you want to go - you can even crawl if you have to! Just point yourself in the direction of the change you want to create, and start moving.
Untangled and its companion journal are out now!
Untangled, a practical and inspirational guide to change you choose and change you don’t, packages up my 25+ years’ experience as a leadership coach and change strategist. It’s packed full of helpful tools and resources to help you live through every kind of change, as well as tips for improving self-belief and confidence.
Untangled and its companion journal are available now online and in all good bookshops.
