Permission granted!
Where do you need to give yourself more permission?
We all get in our own way. Subconsciously or consciously we tell ourselves we ‘can’t’ or ‘shouldn’t’ do this, be like that, or make that choice. And sometimes, that’s helpful - it’s not usually useful to truly yell at someone, even when we are pretty angry. There are however times when we need to give ourselves permission - to help us get out of our own way.
Dr Brené Brown talks about writing ourselves permission slips to physically put down on paper (or sticky notes) what we want or need to allow ourselves to do or be. Part of the reason this really simple activity works is because it forces you to stop and become aware of where you are limiting yourself.
For example, if you’re thinking about a change you want to make to the way you start your day to bring a little (or a large) reduction in stress levels, you might write ‘I give myself permission to go to bed 15 minutes earlier’ (which might suggest you were making up a story that you should stay up until your teenage kids went to bed). Or you might write ‘I give myself permission to ask my partner to swap and walk the dog in the morning instead of at night’. Brené does point out that, like when you sign a permission slip for a school trip for your kids, it doesn’t automatically force them to go - it opens up the possibility. So you still need to follow through, you’re just taking the first step towards recognising what’s in your way.
Once you’ve started to get into the habit of giving yourself permission, it can be helpful to look and see if there is a theme emerging. For me, I often have to give myself permission for things to be messy, for me to not be perfect, or to get it wrong. The simple act of writing it down can often be all that I need to remind myself to get on with it and stop pursuing perfection!
Thinking about any change you want to make - big or small, what’s the permission you need to give yourself so that you can get out of your own way?
