How to discover what you really want in life
Many of us have trouble working out what we want - what we really want - in life. Perhaps we’re bogged down with the day-to-day, and we’ve got used to tuning out that little voice that speaks our hidden desires. Whatever the reason, with time and patience it’s possible to reconnect with our desires and dreams, so that we can take the steps needed to make them a reality.
This feels particularly relevant at the start of a new year too!
In this blog, I’m going to share my top tips for tuning into your inner wisdom, and reconnecting with your desires so that you can discover what it is that you really want in life. Once you do, there will be no stopping you on the path to achieving your dreams!
I usually recommend these steps as part of a journalling exercise, but if you’re not used to journalling or don’t have a journal to hand, then don’t worry. All you really need is a pen and paper (or if you prefer, the notes app on your mobile, tablet or a blank page on your laptop). Now, find a space away from distractions where you can spend some time thinking about the following questions - you don’t have to answer all five in one go, in fact it’s better if you don’t. Just make a start, then come back to it whenever you have five minutes to spare!
1. What do you want right now?
What is your inner voice telling you? What’s the thing that gives you butterflies just thinking about it? What do you hold yourself back from, because you don’t think you can achieve it? It’s time to start listening to your inner voice and change the narrative; start asking yourself what would happen if you chose to follow that dream?
2. What do you want in your future?
Take a moment to ask yourself what you want six months from now? What do you want a year from now? What do you want five years from now? You can keep repeating the exercise as far into the future as you’d like. It will give you lots of insight into what your true goals are, and you can build on them from here.
3. How does the change you’re considering (change you want to choose) fit into your life?
When we focus on a new goal or think about navigating through the change we’re choosing, it can be difficult to see how it fits into the rest of our lives. One helpful tool for working out whether something is possible for you is called the ‘Wheel of Life’. You can use it to explore all the aspects of your life (from career, to social life, family commitments and personal development), and how they relate to one another, to give you more clarity on how a change in one area of your life will affect the other areas. You can use my free Wheel of Life resource to help with this.
4. Why is this change so important to you?
Whether you’re facing change that you’ve chosen to create for yourself, it’s important to do so in a way that’s anchored in purpose. Ask yourself why this change really matters to you, so that if you doubt yourself along the way, you’ll be able to refer back to a time when you had more clarity and commitment about it.
5. Who is on your “support team”?
This doesn’t mean your extended circle of friends or everyone on your Christmas Card List, it’s specifically the people whose views and opinions truly matter to you. If you’re anything like me, the list will be pretty short, but it will be made up of people who you know you can count on, whose opinions matter, and who have your back. Knowing who matters to you is just as important as knowing what matters to you, and it will help to give you clarity about your future.
These journaling prompts will help you set your compass in the right direction, so you can choose the change you want to create in your life. For more insight into living through change you choose and change you don’t, check out my new book, Untangled. Full of personal anecdotes, useful tips, resources and journalling prompts, and backed by solid evidence acquired over more than 20 years in the coaching industry, Untangled and its companion journal have everything you need to master change like a pro.
